9 Months in Australia!
15 March 2019 Friday
Our immigration journey, as told by Riska Nell...(at this moment at this point in my life, how I'm feeling) - It does change every now and then.
Questions I get asked by fellow South Africans thinking of leaving for another country.
1. Is the grass greener on the other side...
my answer.. Maybe, depends on your situation, what you make of your journey. It can be an amazing abundance of green mountains and fields with beautiful poppy flowers everywhere, or...
NOT, some days it feels like a very dark, misty place that is so unfamiliar. But, otherwise if you put your feelings aside, and work hard, take every chance you get, YES, the grass is definitely greener and brighter this side.
2. Is the Aussie arrogant ?
my answer - I dont know, not the one's we've met, they lovely. Down to earth, say a thing like it is and verrrry funny. (If you can handle their sense of humour, that is)
3. How's my kids coping? (I've got 2 daughters, 10 years old and 13 years old - jip a teenager is in the house) - BLEGHHHH.....
Very well, EXTREMELY well, I'm actually sad that they doing so well, as if they've grown up so much in 9 months!!! The opportunities for them is out of this world, the world really is their oyster, and I hope they appreciate it all one day, all we've been through to get them here, is indescribable.
4. How's my husband coping, and how's he doing in his new job?
Well, he is doing extremely well, he got an amazing job opportunity, we landed on a Friday and he got a job on the Monday, and he's still there, climbing the ladder and having fun while doing it, it seems.
4. How am I coping ? Ok, so here's my feelings so far. (Not as brightly coloured as the rest ;))
Apparently writing about your feelings is a better option than talking about your feelings, cause who listens to anyone nowadays anyway, all stuck with their heads in their phones, they don’t have time to listen to your life.. they to busy on social media faking about their "fantastic" lives.
So, let me begin. My story started almost 😬 40 years ago in a small town called Port Elizabeth in South Africa.... urggg who cares.. right?
We immigrated to Sydney, Australia 9 months ago today! FOTB (Fresh off the boat ) 😱😨
9 months....here’s my story! How I feel today, 9 months in. Please don’t take this to heart, this is my blog, my experience, my feelings! We all feel differently, and express it different, so give me a break!
1. Aussies have their own lives, I actually think, some of them feel that we are here to take over their lives, their jobs, their everything, etc.
~ No, we not, we are here to give our kids a better life, a life with safety, life with meaning, something we did not experience in South Africa.
I don’t think they realise how we have to live back there, we didn’t jump a boat to get here either, it was a gruelling 3 year process for us... we had to meet Australian standards, we had to sell all our life’s hard work and use all our financial savings to get here! We had it ALL back in SA, meaning ALL, holiday house, boats, most beautiful house, my kids was in one of the best private schools in the country (MY FEELINGS) we gave it ALL up, up for a good nights sleep, to walk safely in the streets, to drive safely to the shops and not get killed or hi-jacked, for my kids to not get raped and killed in their own homes....... 😔 anyhooo.... more on that in later blogs!
We have met some amazing people so far, Aussies, fellow South Africans, all different nationalities and they all seem nice, they all making things feel a bit “homelier”- (is that even a word) 😬 making life a little bit easier, I guess... BUT it's not the same as back home. You can't just jump in your car and go for coffee and talk your heart out with your life long friend or your mum and sister.... :(
That feeling that someone is out there and they have your back (like your family and friends back home) is just a big NOPE! No one has your back, you need to have your own back in this massive city and country! Yes, I have a husband, but I don't want to talk girly, womanly feelings to him every time I feel like having a mini-breakdown. He's got enough on his shoulders.
2. Coming from a 3rd world country, never really getting a proper tertiary education.
First of all, my family couldn’t afford it, I had to go work and get an income myself after high school, poverty is real in South Africa people, and we had a pretty amazing upbringing back in the day when life was safe and you could still walk to school and friends, my mom and dad worked hard to put food on the table, with NO luxuries, NO holidays etc.
Many times I’ve tried to study, but I was either not interested or some major “life-changing moment” happened. Believe me I went through hell and back! That’s for another post, another time though.
Coming from a 3rd world country to a 1st world county, with just some basic Admin experience and being a Professional photographer for the past 10 years, means ZERO! Yep, they don't even take my photography career seriously here, its a high school subject here, IMAGINE I was here in high school, I think I would've found my career path much sooner, imagine where I would've been today if I was offered Photography as a subject in school ???? :(
But yet again, we didn't get these opportunities in SA (*South Africa) so here I sit, 20 years later, with NOTHING but regret, regret that I did'nt do something more, get that degree, (I know I can maybe try now, but we will see, I have some other plans up my sleeve that is going to need some hard work and attention) ...... so please, take my advice, youngsters, go study further, get a good solid education, cause in an ever changing world you’ll need it! Believe me!! And DONT give up your life to become a “house wife” ! Get yourself sorted First, then when you’ve accomplished success, then focus on that! It’s so difficult to get going again the older you are! And I’m not the only one saying this! #thinkaboutit
3. It’s taken me 8months to get a “casual” 2 days a week job. (Do you people have any clue how absolutely heart wrenching, worthless you feel when you get rejected for over 200 Job applications?)
Not a good feeling, but saying that, the fact that there is so many jobs available, is pretty awesome. You will finally get there, you just need some Aussie experience and reference it seems. Then only do they take you serious....
If I didn’t volunteer and worked as a casual over December rush, that, so by the way, a kind fellow South African arranged for me, I probably wouldn’t have gotten this casual job in the first place! Thanks Debby 😘 (it’s not what you know but WHO you know, right?)
4. Now to come to the topic of my post actually! How do I feel in these 9 months living in this amazing, opportunistic country?!?
I feel like a failure, one of my greatest fears in life is FAILING ~ It's actually a phobia...Jip, I've got a phobia
Anyhow, I’m strong I’ll get over it, I have been through a worse hell than this before!
But the feeling of “loosing my character” loosing my “meaning to live” is sometimes soooo overwhelming. This is NOT A WALK IN THE PARK! It’s an absolutely beautiful, safe and free bright green park, but there’s always this little feeling tingling in my soul, asking me “WHAT THE ACTUAL F*?K have you done?”
I do love this county, it has offered us more in 9months than what we got offered in SA in 20 years! So yes, it’s difficult, we miss our family, friends & special places, extremely much. I sometimes want to pack my bags and just get on the plane back to where I can go to a familiar face and chat my heart out!
But looking at my children seeing them happy, content and so independent is heartwarming. Makes all of this so absolutely worth it!
😳So what I'm trying to get at is, It was a tough ride for me emotionally so far, but I'm getting there, slowly, but surely.
For now, I’m going to set my feelings aside and enjoy my Friday and weekend, that we spending with some South Africans friends.. and let loose, maybe that’s exactly what I need....
For any questions about this crazy, sad, amazing move to Australia, don’t hesitate to ask! I’ll try my best to answer... honestly!
And if you feel I need to explain something in more detail, show the love and I'll try my best 😜
Ps: about me - I’m an introvert (yes, I am, might not always seem like that but I’m a Huge intro) so for me to go out and make friends and just fall into a place and chat up the manager to give me a job is a BIG no no. I don’t do that! I never have and never will, I will rather suffer in silence!
I’m also not a writer! Remember when I mentioned I don’t have any tertiary education, well you’ll probably pick that up throughout my blog! Happy times, hey!
Hope this helps someone out there. It does seem to help me get rid of all this build up emotions.... so just maybe this blogging thing is worth it, maybe not for anyone else out there, but then at least for myself.
Have a great weekend 🌹
Riska
xxx
Our immigration journey, as told by Riska Nell...(at this moment at this point in my life, how I'm feeling) - It does change every now and then.
Questions I get asked by fellow South Africans thinking of leaving for another country.
1. Is the grass greener on the other side...
my answer.. Maybe, depends on your situation, what you make of your journey. It can be an amazing abundance of green mountains and fields with beautiful poppy flowers everywhere, or...
NOT, some days it feels like a very dark, misty place that is so unfamiliar. But, otherwise if you put your feelings aside, and work hard, take every chance you get, YES, the grass is definitely greener and brighter this side.
2. Is the Aussie arrogant ?
my answer - I dont know, not the one's we've met, they lovely. Down to earth, say a thing like it is and verrrry funny. (If you can handle their sense of humour, that is)
3. How's my kids coping? (I've got 2 daughters, 10 years old and 13 years old - jip a teenager is in the house) - BLEGHHHH.....
Very well, EXTREMELY well, I'm actually sad that they doing so well, as if they've grown up so much in 9 months!!! The opportunities for them is out of this world, the world really is their oyster, and I hope they appreciate it all one day, all we've been through to get them here, is indescribable.
4. How's my husband coping, and how's he doing in his new job?
Well, he is doing extremely well, he got an amazing job opportunity, we landed on a Friday and he got a job on the Monday, and he's still there, climbing the ladder and having fun while doing it, it seems.
4. How am I coping ? Ok, so here's my feelings so far. (Not as brightly coloured as the rest ;))
Apparently writing about your feelings is a better option than talking about your feelings, cause who listens to anyone nowadays anyway, all stuck with their heads in their phones, they don’t have time to listen to your life.. they to busy on social media faking about their "fantastic" lives.
So, let me begin. My story started almost 😬 40 years ago in a small town called Port Elizabeth in South Africa.... urggg who cares.. right?
We immigrated to Sydney, Australia 9 months ago today! FOTB (Fresh off the boat ) 😱😨
9 months....here’s my story! How I feel today, 9 months in. Please don’t take this to heart, this is my blog, my experience, my feelings! We all feel differently, and express it different, so give me a break!
1. Aussies have their own lives, I actually think, some of them feel that we are here to take over their lives, their jobs, their everything, etc.
~ No, we not, we are here to give our kids a better life, a life with safety, life with meaning, something we did not experience in South Africa.
I don’t think they realise how we have to live back there, we didn’t jump a boat to get here either, it was a gruelling 3 year process for us... we had to meet Australian standards, we had to sell all our life’s hard work and use all our financial savings to get here! We had it ALL back in SA, meaning ALL, holiday house, boats, most beautiful house, my kids was in one of the best private schools in the country (MY FEELINGS) we gave it ALL up, up for a good nights sleep, to walk safely in the streets, to drive safely to the shops and not get killed or hi-jacked, for my kids to not get raped and killed in their own homes....... 😔 anyhooo.... more on that in later blogs!
We have met some amazing people so far, Aussies, fellow South Africans, all different nationalities and they all seem nice, they all making things feel a bit “homelier”- (is that even a word) 😬 making life a little bit easier, I guess... BUT it's not the same as back home. You can't just jump in your car and go for coffee and talk your heart out with your life long friend or your mum and sister.... :(
That feeling that someone is out there and they have your back (like your family and friends back home) is just a big NOPE! No one has your back, you need to have your own back in this massive city and country! Yes, I have a husband, but I don't want to talk girly, womanly feelings to him every time I feel like having a mini-breakdown. He's got enough on his shoulders.
2. Coming from a 3rd world country, never really getting a proper tertiary education.
First of all, my family couldn’t afford it, I had to go work and get an income myself after high school, poverty is real in South Africa people, and we had a pretty amazing upbringing back in the day when life was safe and you could still walk to school and friends, my mom and dad worked hard to put food on the table, with NO luxuries, NO holidays etc.
Many times I’ve tried to study, but I was either not interested or some major “life-changing moment” happened. Believe me I went through hell and back! That’s for another post, another time though.
Coming from a 3rd world country to a 1st world county, with just some basic Admin experience and being a Professional photographer for the past 10 years, means ZERO! Yep, they don't even take my photography career seriously here, its a high school subject here, IMAGINE I was here in high school, I think I would've found my career path much sooner, imagine where I would've been today if I was offered Photography as a subject in school ???? :(
But yet again, we didn't get these opportunities in SA (*South Africa) so here I sit, 20 years later, with NOTHING but regret, regret that I did'nt do something more, get that degree, (I know I can maybe try now, but we will see, I have some other plans up my sleeve that is going to need some hard work and attention) ...... so please, take my advice, youngsters, go study further, get a good solid education, cause in an ever changing world you’ll need it! Believe me!! And DONT give up your life to become a “house wife” ! Get yourself sorted First, then when you’ve accomplished success, then focus on that! It’s so difficult to get going again the older you are! And I’m not the only one saying this! #thinkaboutit
3. It’s taken me 8months to get a “casual” 2 days a week job. (Do you people have any clue how absolutely heart wrenching, worthless you feel when you get rejected for over 200 Job applications?)
Not a good feeling, but saying that, the fact that there is so many jobs available, is pretty awesome. You will finally get there, you just need some Aussie experience and reference it seems. Then only do they take you serious....
If I didn’t volunteer and worked as a casual over December rush, that, so by the way, a kind fellow South African arranged for me, I probably wouldn’t have gotten this casual job in the first place! Thanks Debby 😘 (it’s not what you know but WHO you know, right?)
4. Now to come to the topic of my post actually! How do I feel in these 9 months living in this amazing, opportunistic country?!?
I feel like a failure, one of my greatest fears in life is FAILING ~ It's actually a phobia...Jip, I've got a phobia
Anyhow, I’m strong I’ll get over it, I have been through a worse hell than this before!
But the feeling of “loosing my character” loosing my “meaning to live” is sometimes soooo overwhelming. This is NOT A WALK IN THE PARK! It’s an absolutely beautiful, safe and free bright green park, but there’s always this little feeling tingling in my soul, asking me “WHAT THE ACTUAL F*?K have you done?”
I do love this county, it has offered us more in 9months than what we got offered in SA in 20 years! So yes, it’s difficult, we miss our family, friends & special places, extremely much. I sometimes want to pack my bags and just get on the plane back to where I can go to a familiar face and chat my heart out!
But looking at my children seeing them happy, content and so independent is heartwarming. Makes all of this so absolutely worth it!
😳So what I'm trying to get at is, It was a tough ride for me emotionally so far, but I'm getting there, slowly, but surely.
For now, I’m going to set my feelings aside and enjoy my Friday and weekend, that we spending with some South Africans friends.. and let loose, maybe that’s exactly what I need....
For any questions about this crazy, sad, amazing move to Australia, don’t hesitate to ask! I’ll try my best to answer... honestly!
And if you feel I need to explain something in more detail, show the love and I'll try my best 😜
Ps: about me - I’m an introvert (yes, I am, might not always seem like that but I’m a Huge intro) so for me to go out and make friends and just fall into a place and chat up the manager to give me a job is a BIG no no. I don’t do that! I never have and never will, I will rather suffer in silence!
I’m also not a writer! Remember when I mentioned I don’t have any tertiary education, well you’ll probably pick that up throughout my blog! Happy times, hey!
Hope this helps someone out there. It does seem to help me get rid of all this build up emotions.... so just maybe this blogging thing is worth it, maybe not for anyone else out there, but then at least for myself.
Have a great weekend 🌹
Riska
xxx
Hi Riska, we are also making the big move in May. Not only does it put my mind to ease knowing there is someone out there with the same fear and phobia, but also you are still there fighting through the difficult days. I am not sure if it will ever become easier? It does seem that way. I already miss my family and friends and I haven't left yet. Also being a mayor introvert it took me many years to build these friendship, I am dreading to leave it all behind. We don't have children yet, but we are also making this change fir our future children. I have so much respect for you as a previous"housemom" that is willing to get back into the workforce no matter what it takes. I feel your pain applying for jobs, although I have a medical related degree I have had many rejections just based on my resume, even having PR staus. I just don't count them I know the right thing will come on our paths, the journey you are on is preparing you for that job. Good luck with your new job and adjustment it think it takes many years.
ReplyDeleteBut we woman are stong! You seem even stronger than most!